Tuesday, April 19, 2011

smile for the camera

so, i'm acting all happy and cheerful. i have to. can't let it get to me. this is what my mental illness does. i see one thing that's upsetting and let it ruin my life. i was on postsecret.com and saw a card that read: when you have a relationship with a person with mental illness, you have a relationship with mental illness, not a person. wow. that's my biggest fear put into words and on the internet for everyone to read. as in, how much does my mental illness define me? i struggle against it, but it's a personality disorder, therefore, it defines my personality. my fear: how can someone love someone like me? i'm almost ok with being alone the rest of my life, but not completely ok with it yet. so for now, i'll put on a masking smile and go help others fight their mental illnesses and addictions at my job. it's the only thing i can do.

1 comment:

Nancy Drew said...

I knew you would read into that! GRRR Julia... That is stupid and it's just someone ranting. I wish you could see how amazing you are.