i'm sorry

i'm sorry i did it. i wish i could've said no. i wish i had the courage. i wish i could have found the courage through my faith. God has forgiven me. how do i forgive myself? i've been told in a sermon that God forgives, and the enemy will try to use photographic thinking with you, memories that haunt you. i can see you in my mind's eye...i know i'm not meant to. God dwells within me, and your image will not move that Rock.

i can't believe you made me doubt. you made me doubt my faith, my salvation, my one true love. i forgive you because you're my best friend. you are mother to my godchildren. you are my spiritual ideal. and you made me doubt. ...you didn't make me doubt, the enemy made me doubt. and now the question, if i am able to be made to doubt, is there reason for the doubt? no. i will not ask that question. it only brings more doubt. i love my Savior, He IS my Savior, i am secure in my faith. don't make me doubt again. i love you, but don't make me leave you b/c you make me doubt. i love you and my godchildren. but i love my God more.